Believe me

If someday I fall asleep in your arms, Will you believe me that I haven’t slept properly in a long time?

If someday i ask you to take your meds on time before heading to sleep, Will you believe me that I have never completed one of my own?

If someday i spend my whole night stargazing with you on our terrace, Will you believe me that I’m afraid of dark?

If someday i dance with you in middle of the road, Will you believe me that I’m even shy enough to show my self in public?

If someday i stay with you for the rest of my life, Will you believe me that it’s always the hardest thing for me to stay around?

If someday i decide to not to give up on you, Will you believe me that I was once ready to give up on myself?

If someday i say i love you, Will you believe me that I love you?

Freezyhead Girl

It’s about a freezyhead girl

A girl who had more complex life than her hair

A girl who nobody liked not because she was not good enough but absolutely extra ordinary

A girl who always wanted stability in her life but couldn’t get it even with her family

A girl who was a feeling of completion of the expectation but had to settle for disappointment

A girl who everybody claimed the happiest girl but she only had deal with her existentialism

A girl who just wanted to remain a kid, but always had to behave like an adult

A girl who was more real than anything else but always had to put makeup for everything for the world

It’s about the freezyhead girl

who deserved only happiness, but had to settle for anxiety attacks

It’s about the freezyhead girl who was more than just her name, who was more than just her hair, who was more than just her looks, who was more than just her body, who was more than just herself

Now I just hope, one day, wherever you’ll be, you’ll be happy with whatever you would have in your life

Why did I realize

Why did I realize? What is this realization? What does it all mean? Why does all this affects me this time? Millions of questions like this, kanna had in his mind.

It’s been a few months for kanna having a terrible state of mind, losing everything everywhere. He was alone. After a wretched period for a long time in his life, he lost all hopes, and didn’t want to blame anyone anymore, so he decided to take his life with his very friendly pills while sleeping.

This night kanna took very high dose, 5 pills where he was supposed to have only 1, and slept for something he was always afraid of.

Tonight while sleeping, he realized something again, a realization of why he realized all that earlier in time.

“Why would ‘the one who wanted him to realize all that’ allowed kanna to realize that after happening whatever in his life? it obviously had a reason for good. Kanna needed to know what all that mean to him. Kanna needed to know the clarification for that thing. Kanna needed to realize the value of that thing. He have to have faith in that thing. It always had a reason.

Someone whispered in kanna’s ear, but you’re dead kanna, you took your life. You should have waited and let the faith worked for you. Kanna remained quiet all that time, probably couldn’t open his mouth and say something. Kanna remained stunned and had tears in his eyes, suddenly that someone said, but wait I can help you with giving another chance to make things right, what if I give you another life within this life, as you’ve found the answer for your questions,you need to answer them on ground too, you deserves this, you’re my favourite child kanna.

Kanna woke up differently this morning, everything was different for him, he never found those pills ever again in his life, everything worked for him, it was a leap of faith and it needed some time and some patience.

I wish a happy life for kanna.

Chanda

It was november, when Arthur Walton, a british guy saw Chanda in a park, and was so mesmerized by her eyes but was so afraid to reach her out.

He started visiting that park regularly but couldn’t find her the next day. After visiting that park regularly for 2 weeks, his fate worked and saw a girl, with another small girl child who was probably 8 y/o. Arthur was upset seeing her with a girl, as he believed that she’s her daughter. Then a guy came by to her asked her for something then they both moved on in his car, Arthur was clueless and so upset as he thought that she is married and have kids. He walked to his home with some heaviness and said himself that, it was destined Arthur, not your fault.

[a week later]

Arthur decided to visit that park again after a week and wanted to talk to that lady for no reason. As soon as he entered from the gate of that park, Arthur saw Chanda, and started moving to her but was afraid that he changed his path but this time Chanda stood up ” hey, here! I want to you”. Arthur heart skipped a beat and jumped into nervousness and euphoria. “Me?” Arthur checked. “Yes! You” Chanda replied.

[Chanda] : Why did you stopped coming here.

[Arthur] : why? I mean you noticed me when I was here?

[Chanda] : Yes I noticed you everyday, I even noticed you when you didn’t notice me and even on those 2 weeks when I didn’t come in the park but checked you from outside.

[Arthur] : But why would you notice me? and if you noticed me why you never came to me?

[Chanda] : Initially I thought that you’re looking for some prostitute as this park is well known for that but you never tried that with anyone here then I saw the look on your face when you first noticed me, it was not lust, it was not about sex for a night, it was something else, I’ve never felt it even haven’t seen it.

[Arthur] : Wait! What? Prostitute? Is this park famous for prostitute? Are you one among them? Who was that small girl child with you, who was that man you went out with?

[Chanda] : This is the reason I never came by to you after I saw that glare in your eyes seeing me because I never wanted to disappoint you. Yes! I am a prostitute, I was 16 when I was taken here in Bombay, it’s been 14 years now. That girl is everything to me because somebody kidnapped her and sold her in black market, I felt for that girl, and gave all my money in return if they let that girl go away but that cost me a lot, now I live for her and for her smile. That guy you saw me with is one of my customer. I was sad when I didn’t see you coming by here, I don’t have any expectations with you, it’s just that I felt filled with you seeing me. I am sorry to disappoint you but this is me all me real me. You can leave me here without saying a word, that even would make sense.

[Arthur] : I don’t know what to say? I’ve seen many people and honestly been with many people but never felt this way to anyone yet. When I saw you first time I didn’t know anything about it but now as I know about you, that made me in love with you more than anything I can ever with. You don’t have to be sorry about what you are. What you did for that girl is above every par. These 4-5 weeks of my life are just what I have always imagined to be like. If there is any chance of us getting together and I can take you with me with that girl child to some unknown place where we’ll be unknown to everyone, I would be more than happy to do that. Can we do that? or in simpler words will you allow me to take your hand with me for that ring I brought when I first saw you?

Chanda never knew that this was coming to her in this way, she was happy, she was clueless but she trusted Arthur despite being the person who never trusts anyone

Chanda simply went to his place, experienced the love first time in her life while making love and while giving him the last hug, she whispered YES in his ear.

Chanda has become MRS. ARTHUR now, that girl child named Chelsea and is captain of their school’s soccer team. Three of them live somewhere unknown to me also. Wish for their happy life.

ठंडा काला गोश्त

हरा चेहरा और सीने में काला ठंडा गोश्त लिए निकल पड़ा हूँ

ज़िहन में ना अब आक्रोश की ज्वाला है ना क्रांति की तमन्ना

ना मंजिल का पता है ना म्रत्यु का

मगर अब चल पड़ा हूँ

हर कदम पर पैर कांप रहे है एक और कदम बढ़ाने को भी

जीवन में अब मौत के खौफ से ज्यादा खौफ हार का है

उस मौत के खौफ खत्म करने हेतू मैंने खुद को मारा है

उस हार के खौफ खत्म करने हेतू मैंने खुद को हराया है

तू किसी रेल सी गुज़रती है मैं किसी पुल सा थरथराता हूँ

मैं जिसे ओढ़ता-बिछाता हूँ,
वो ग़ज़ल आपको सुनाता हूँ।

एक जंगल है तेरी आँखों में,
मैं जहाँ राह भूल जाता हूँ।


तू किसी रेल-सी गुज़रती है,
मैं किसी पुल-सा थरथराता हूँ।

हर तरफ़ ऐतराज़ होता है,
मैं अगर रौशनी में आता हूँ।

एक बाज़ू उखड़ गया जबसे,
और ज़्यादा वज़न उठाता हूँ।

मैं तुझे भूलने की कोशिश में,
आज कितने क़रीब पाता हूँ।

कौन ये फ़ासला निभाएगा,
मैं फ़रिश्ता हूँ सच बताता हूँ।

दुष्यंत कुमार

Heros

Deepak S. Sathe, Akhilesh Kumar, Sajjad Gul, Usman Azam plus all the crew members which were present in air India’s kozikode Plane Crash or Pakistan’s Karachi Plane Crash. I wish all of them to rest in peace.

In the time of global pandemic where they can spend the best time of their life, living happily with their family which they misses the most out of all circumstances, they decided to work, they decided to do what others can’t, they decided to rescue people from other countries. My immense respect is not only for the ones who work for the sleep of our nation aka aircraft fighter but also to those commercial aircraft’s pilots, who stood up for nation in such distress time.

There is a wife who’s waiting for his husband to come at 3 in morning because pilots can never have a sleeping schedule, there’s a husband making a tea for his wife before leaving house because she has to fly to another nation to get our natives back to out nation and there are infinite stories life them.

A pilot who has given his entire life studying the SPs and shit load of tons to keep updated with facts about flying. They could easily have another job or profession with this much of knowledge and experience but they decided to serve the nation and the fact is we don’t give what they deserve in return and by they I mean commercial aircraft’s pilots except for the enquiry after the plane crash or the severe pressure to make the company in profit, which cost them their life, crew’s life, passenger’s life.

They could’ve easily stayed at home but they didn’t, those extra balls to be this good, made them stay away from their family. Today they live a far away from us from their family, we lost our Heros, these were just 4 names out of the list of thousands of thousands. Being an aircraft’s pilot should be consider hero not mentioning whether it is serving nation or any company, they both are same, they both are hero

Expectations

People only loves those who fulfills their expectation but the fact is expectations are destined to be broken. Why is that so? Because expectations hatched in the person’s brain and there is no way to get it and the mere fact of not accomplishing the expectations raises the conflict.

Sharun

It was a month of november, unusual rain and a date with tamanna. Tamanna reached restaurant earlier than Sharun.

Today Sharun has decided to tell tamanna everything about himself as they’ve dated for 3 months and sharun think that tamanna will understand him and accept him

After having their favourite pasta and drinks, sharun told everything about himself to tamanna and by the last sentence by him he has believed that this time things will not be different.

[Sharun] : I know I’m not usual to someone, it would never be easy for you accept me so today even if you walk out for your good I would never mind.

[Tamanna] : Sharun you’ve gave me my happy time, you’re a good guy.

After exchanging hugs and pack on cheeks they went back to their cars

As soon as sharun reached to his house he received a text, it was of tamanna

[Tamanna] : Hey Sharun, we both had a good time but I don’t think so we can go on with this. You’re a good guy I hope you remain happy always.

[Sharun] : It’s completely alright tamanna, I hope you remain happy always.

After living a shaky life for a month, sharun decided to visit a club, where he found vithista

Vithista made the first move and asked him for his phone number, Sharun also founf Vithista beautiful and sincere.

At night 1:05, sharun received a text from vithista

[Vithista] : hey 6 feets, if you’re sleeping, you might miss a chance of talking to a beautiful drunk girl

[Sharun] : and in no world I’m gonna miss it

Flirting went straight for 3 weeks, vithista and sharun, both thinks that they should take this forward

After living happily with each other for next 6 months, Sharun again has decided to tell vithista all about himself and again believed the same about understanding and accepting

He told everything about himself to vithista after having their favourite food and drinks but this time he is confident enough to talk about himself

Next morning Sharun received a text from vithista

[Vithista] : Sharun you’ve been amazing for the entire time but I don’t think so we can go forward with this, I hope you understand, you’re an amazing person, deserves happiness.

[Sharun] : It’s completely alright Vithista. I hope you remain happy always.

Sathi and Toota

[Sathi & Toota]

Stay still, let the moment pass

Let heart melts

But how do I stop you?

All my sorrows slip away

If you let me fill my eyes with you

Talk to you without words

If you’re by my side

Flows like a river or a lake, your world makes my world

I mold myself in your image

If you’re by my side


If you’re new to [things] you’ll need to go through [Sathi and toota] which I posted a few weeks earlier

So y’all might be thinking what has happened to me? Why I am shitposting? As i’ve earlier posted the same poem then why I am posting it again? but if you see change in it, this time toota is singing along sathi, why? What let toota sing along sathi? Sathi always believed s/he is the Sathi(companion) of toota, no matter how cruel life could be for her/him, s/he not letting it go, not letting things happen which are not suppose to happen, had faith, decided to put efforts, now enjoying the most beautiful words making the most beautiful pair of companions