Sonali and Deep

[3 years ago]

It was monday morning in school when deep finally saw this amazing lady, sonali. Deep, being the coolest guy of the squad ignored what he felt in his heart for the first time. But deep is having fun, seeing the same girl which he’s been classmate with from past 4 years but never really realized. This sudden change in deep has started bothering him, because he’s the coolest guy and wants to be only that, he denies the love, the affection etc. So with occurring of events, now he wants to be her friend and within a month they’re dating. Everything is going quite well with each other but the attitude of deep about love and affection kept in denial. He started flirting with other girls and making out too. After 5 months of dating, he’s done, he called it off and told her the truth about himself. Sonali, being broken couldn’t accept the fact that her happy time with this guy will not happen again but it’s good that we ended because he kinda cheated on me. They both started skipping school and tuitions. After 2 weeks, something occurred to deep, he wants to see sonali, he wants to be close to her maybe right next to her. Is it the need of Sonali to deep? Or this is same thing which caught him up 5 months ago? And on other hand Sonali got her friends back, Viju, one of them is interesting in her as well. After several dates for about a month, Sonali said yes. Here deep struggling with the fact that does he really loves Sonali or is it just attraction or need of her?, is alone, with no friends and is completely unaware about the life of sonali.

Thursday night, after losing to his denial for love and affection, deep caller sonali. “Are you okay? ” deep asked. “Yeah! I am doing really good. What about you? ” Sonali replied . “Can we meet?” deep asked anxiously. “Yeah we can but I want you to know that I’m dating someone” Sonali with a clear mind. Deep with a broken heart left on floor and slept with tears in his eyes. Does sonali really loves that Viju? Or is it the fact that sonali and deep didn’t worked out so Sonali wants this to work and it’s easy to let that happen as well? Does she really loves him? Or his extra attention and the excitement of this can be worked out, is making her feel that? Tonight, while deep slept on floor with tears in his eyes, sonali stayed up all night with tears in her eyes. Next day when they both meet, everything went as expected, Sonali made it clear that she loves viju, they both are adhere to make it happen. Deep hugged her last time and left the place. 2 weeks of isolation for deep made him realize that he has a friend, named vrunshak, he called vrunshak at 3 am and cried, simply said one thing “for whatever I’ve done to her I deserve all this but if after all my suffering I’m having her at last I’m going okay with, but if can somebody please make my sonali come back. Vrunshak instantly realized what he has do, and calmed deep with if Sonali doesn’t come back we’ll marry.

When deep was unaware about what vrunshak is doing, vrunshak kept on talking to sonali with a name of shagun. Shagun went to sonali as a friend of deep which he never mentioned, but knows deep more than his mother. After convincing Sonali for about 3 week that why you and deep are actually meant to be together, Sonali called deep. “Why do you love me now when it’s too late?” Sonali being ruthless to deep. “I don’t know sonali, I maybe deserve too late because I didn’t understand when it was needed” deep with disappointment tone. “Do you want to say anything or explain anything?” sonali asked. “I don’t want to explain you and have you, it would be good if someday I have you and then maybe explain you” deep said and cut the call. Shagun has disappeared from sonali’s life, vrunshak hasn’t called deep from past few weeks. It’s quite gone thing now. Deep still has faith that one day things will turn out good between them, he let faith plays all the game, because he believes that sonali is the one who’ll marry him one day. Now he doesn’t do anything, no calls, no texts, no mails, just let things happened however they’re happening

After two months

It’s Monday morning and Sonali called deep, “You fucking piece of a shit, you’re nothing but a jerk and I hate you so much but more than that I love you and it’s not worthy enough to live without you. I love you deep. I don’t want to waste a single second without you but live every second with you. I am sorry I made you go through a lot, because I went through a lot, maybe I wanted that to balance, now it is balanced. Sonali to deep. Deep while extremely smiling asked sonali to meet him at their cafe.

It’s been 3 years from then, Sonali and deep made everything possible. They’re having a long distance relationship and has engaged to each other. Deep lives in toronto and sonali lives here in india. They still fight with each other but they never sleep without a doubt about themselves. I hope everything goes well with them and one day they marry to each other and annoy for rest of their life.

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Part of it is done part of it is remaining

Garvit, containing all his insecurities told yoshita that he saw a dream. A dream which he never wants to be true but can’t get rid of it. A dream which is constantly bothering him from past few days and every night he’s in place where he can’t do anything but let things happen as they’re happening. A dream where yoshita left him, left him with somebody else for somebody else. A dream where he can’t do anything but seeing yoshita kissing the other guy, garvit is so weak even in his dream that he can’t do anything. He is so afraid not only because of what’s happening in dreams but also he knows that his dreams come true. Yoshita can’t believe it because for yoshita, garvit completes her maybe not entirely but sufficiently, she doesn’t need more. With all this yoshita convinced Garvit that nothing is going to happen in life to us, we’re sticking, but garvit’s dreams always leave him terrifying about things. Today part of it is done.

But Garvit forgot to mention the dreams he saw with yoshita about them, marrying each other, and spending life together until one rests his/her last breath even before having those dreams. Today part of it is remaining.

YOSHITA & GARVIT

Mohanthy

8 years ago,

Mohanthy, a 19 year old boy, belonging to Mysore, was studying in pune and used live with his girlfriend mrunumay. They both were having a happy life, regular hangout, same college, same class, everything was just about them only. It was his firth year in college but he was with mrunumay from past 2 years, they were from Mysore.

It was Friday and they had to visit a party but at eleventh hour mrunumay felt sick and she couldn’t make it. She convinced him to go, he didn’t want to but it was his friend’s birthday so he went. After drinks, dance, and full enjoyment at 1:00 in night he decided to leave. He didn’t have any vehicle and he couldn’t possibly find any cab around. Suddenly on his way to home a cab came to him. ” Sir do you need a ride? ” driver asked. “Yeah I need ride to home but is it a pool like you already have 2 passengers” mohanthy replied. “No sir, they’re just my friends but sir I’ll charge extra for your location” driver said. “It’s all fine buddy” drunk mohanthy replied. While on his way he found something weird, driver’s friend were touching him not in appropriate manner, but he didn’t say anything because he’s drunk. After a certain time with his sleepy head he realized that they’re not on the way to home but to somewhere else. “Stop the fucking car” mohanthy angrily said. “Sir you don’t have to worry we’ll just fun and will drop you to your location” driver said. “What the fuck you’re talking about what kind of fun you mean?” mohanthy asked being partially conscious but couldn’t do anything but to anticipate himself to them. Driver and friends raped him, assaulted him multiple times, shove the baton into his butt and he was bleeding. After continuous 5 hours of getting raped by those monsters, they left him to his location.

“What happened to you babe? ” mrunumay asked being very anxious. “Nothing just had a fight” mohanthy replied. “Why the fuck do you have to fight mohanthy?” mrunumay asked. After sometime mohanthy convinced her that he caught up in a fight nothing much serious. Mohanthy took time to forget it but he decided to not to talk about it.

8 years have passed since that incident took place, mohanthy and mrunumay managed to be together. They’re both are doing good in their lives. They’re marrying to each other next month. Mohanthy engulfed all the pain, all the suffering, all the trauma he been through. Mohanthy is a brave guy, he managed to not tell this incident to mrunumay even, it was decision. Mrunumay on other hand knew something happened that night because she found the blood at the back side of his trouser but never bothered him to talk about it. Someday I believe, at night, while sleeping mohanthy will tell mrunumay about that incident. Until then sayonara.

sathi and toota

[sathi]

stay still, let the moment pass

Let heart melt

But how do I stop you?

All my sorrows slip away

If you let me fill my eyes with you

Talk to you without words

If you’re by my side

Flows like a river or a lake, your world makes my world

I mold myself in your image

If you’re by my side

[Toota]

Your eyes hold your dreams, your dreams are full of dissapointment

I believe feelings of love, are merely deceitful words

If you’re or you’re not by my side, doesn’t matter

Life was cruel and still is, if you’re by my side or not

Happy Father’s Day

आज एक और फादर्स डे निकल गया,

पूछ ही नही पाया आपके बारे में।

पूछ ही नही पाया आपका हाल चाल।

पूछ ही नही पाया क्या चल रहा है दिमाग में।

पूछ ही नही पाया कि अभ क्या, रुकना कब है, की बस लगे रहोगे ऐसे ही।

जब गले लगने की बारी आती है तो माँ के गले तो हाल लग जाता हूँ मगर आपसे गले लगने के लिए अपनी जीत का इंतज़ार करता हूँ।

अपनी माँ और बीवी को तो I love you कभी भी बोल देता हूँ मगर आपसे ना जाने क्या हो जाता बोल ही नही पाता।

आप बस हमेशा मुझे डाटते रहते हो ऐसा मैं बचपन मे सोचा करता था मगर आज जाकर समझा हूँ, और आप सही थे कि जब खुद की औलाद होगी तब समझेगा।

So Happy father’s day to you, I love you dad, you always did everything best for us and we’re glad to be your children and glad that you raise us, you always wanted to be like your father today I want to be like you.

By 40 year old son

Aarthy

It was december 1974, Aarthy, a beautiful 26 year old lady belonging to a low caste in madurai, working in a textile factory. She’s only earner for the family consisting herself and her father only. They both were having a good time alone with holding onto each other, her father wants her to marry this guy raghuram but she doesn’t want to marry right now because she’s concerned about her father, who will take care of him if she gets married?. But however he managed to get her engaged to raghuram. It was 19th december 1974, she had to work overtime, it’s 10:15pm now it’s time to home. By this hour she can’t find any rickshaw so she decided to go on herself, as soon as she passed 2kms from the place, a red car came with 3 drunk people, first they passed some comments but they left. “Thank god! Could’ve been any worse” but she didn’t what’s waiting for her. That red car came back but aarthy just saw raghuram in it so she felt relived. “Let me drop you to your home” raghuram said. “Yeah sure” aarthy replied. Raghuram and friends took her to nearby jungle, she worried and relaxed because raghuram is her fiance but why are they taking her to jungle. Suddenly raghuram stopped the car and took her to the jungle with all his friends. “I need to go home raghu” aarthy said. “But first get naked” raghuram with devil eyes. Aarthy can’t believe it and started escaping around but they were 3 drunk people and she was just a beautiful alone woman and that night something happened, all 3 raped her, multiple times, tore her clothes into pieces, humiliated her with objects. After a certain time she can’t feel aliveness and raghuram and his friends believing she’s dead left her. 6 in the morning, Vijay, a passerby found aarthy naked and almost dead. He checked her pulses, she’s alive and took her to his own hospital, she’s in critical position. Police came and filed a case, started investigation but couldn’t get any help from aarthy because she’s still unconscious. After 3 days she became conscious and was ready to tell who did that. Police arrested raghuram and friends, and encountered them. That day whole madurai knew that it’s wasn’t a real encounter but celebrated like a festival. Kamaksha shetty, police inspector who lead this operation became the hero of madurai and Madurai was in peace after the death of 3 rapist. But what about the aarthy? what about her father? Would they ever be able to over come this? Will she ever be able to forget all that happened to her that night? Her father tried committing suicide but couldn’t do that because he knew only he’s keeping aarthy alive. Vijay use to come and check upon her, he was an orphan. He never saw his family and someone in orphanage home aided him financially for his medical studies. He became the guy who helped aarthy, and her father. After a year he asked her father “Can you both live in my house, I don’t have family, that’s the only way I can have family or I want to say can I marry aarthy?”. Yeah Vijay accepted aarthy with everything, her experience of that night, her trauma, her denial, because of her father’s stubbornness aarthy agreed to marry Vijay but wanted her father to live with them. It took aarthy 3 more years to overcome her trauma but Vijay was always there for her being the best man she always imagined about. It’s been 45 years since that incident took place, Aarthy and Vijay are leading a happy life with a daughter.

Shivani and Rajesh

Shivani, a 22 year old beautiful elegant lady. She works as teacher and belongs to upper middle class family. She’s complete in her ways and haven’t met her love yet except ice creams. Rajesh, a 25 year old well settled rich businessman. Rajesh’s parents wants him to marry but he thinks that he’s not ready to get married. On the other hand shivani’s parents wants her to marry, she doesn’t have any opinion about it so agreed to her parents.

Rajesh’s parents convinced him to at least see the girl, so as planned they went to meet the girl. Rajesh’s heart skipped a beat as soon as he saw shivani. Now rajesh can’t think of anything but to marry her. Shivani didn’t say anything but he liked rajesh, the way he sit the way he asked her about(s) etc etc

They married on Jan 5, because they both shared same birthdates on Jan 5. They’re having a decent time together, completing each other in every way. They started having a life together which they never assumed in their dreams. It’s been 2 years together they haven’t had a baby yet, big shit strikes to them, they can’t have a baby, some medical problem. Things started getting worsen by each day passing, they started blaming each other, they barely eat together nowadays, they barely go to cinemas, they barely spent time together and with all that frustration shivani decided to restart teaching so that she can be I’m peace.

Shivani joined a school and she found Arvind their, Arvind is divorcee and has two kids with him. Arvind found a new teacher in school who looks sad. “What happened? Didn’t you like the school? ” Arvind asked shivani. “Nahh! Nothing like that, everything is good in school” Shivani replied. “Well I guess so, you’re the new English teacher right? I am Arvind I teach physics here” Arvind said. “I am Shivani and yes I am the new english teacher”.

By each day passing Arvind and Shivani became friends with started sharing food, notes, stationary and time. Being unaware about rajesh struggles with his company shivani was enjoying with arvind. Rajesh suffered a 20cr loss and he didn’t want to bother shivani about it so he kept it quiet. Shivani started visiting Arvind’s kid, and one day they had a moment. Now Shivani thinks that she likes Arvind and want to be with him and so does Arvind thinks. After two weeks Rajesh went to his business trip struggling with stuffs and being completely unaware about things happening in Shivani’s life. Shivani is having dinner with Arvind tonight, it’s raining outside and it’s some romantic weather… Arvind and Shivani caught by a moment and hugged this time they didn’t stop, “I love Shivani” Arvind said. I love you rajesh” Shivani replied. What? Rajesh? I am Arvind, and with that Arvind left her home. Now Shivani with tears in her eyes has realised something, for the entire time with Arvind she wasn’t with him. For the entire time being with Arvind she been with rajesh, every laugh she did with Arvind was with rajesh. For the entire time all the love she felt for Arvind was for rajesh but confused it with Arvind’s face. For Shivani it was rajesh all the time with her but confused it with Arvind. For that whole night she’s in a happy mind after a long time, she’s feeling this for first time maybe. Next morning when rajesh arrived, shivani went to him and hugged him so tight that he can’t let her go meaning she didn’t want to lose him. “I want to be happy with you again” Shivani said. “So you’ve decided to be with me rather than Arvind, I love you shivani” rajesh replied. “How did you know? ” Shivani being very anxious. “I knew it from the very starting but I didn’t know what to do so I thought to let it happen, but I knew one thing that I love Shivani so much that even god has to came here to make us happen again” Rajesh said while hugging her. Now Rajesh had told her about the loss but he managed to get his company. It’s been 25 years of their marriage and they have two daughters now, elder one is adopted and second one is exclusively theirs. Yeah miracle happened, Shivani and Rajesh gave birth to a girl child. Now they live happily somewhere in a village of himachal alone. It’s all about Shivani and Rajesh. Thank you!

THE PILLOW by mourid barghouti

So it’s a poem which I’m reading for around a month and fill me with something and helping me a lot with understanding things. So…..

The pillow said:
at the end of the long day
only I know
the confident man’s confusion,
the nun’s desire,
the slight quiver in the tyrant’s eyelash,
the preacher’s obscenity,
the soul’s longing
for a warm body where flying sparks
become a glowing coal.
Only I know
the grandeur of unnoticed little things;
only I know the loser’s dignity,
the winner’s loneliness
and the stupid coldness one feels
when a wish has been granted.


What’s The Pillow for me ….

वो एक तकिया है जो मुझे समझता है जनता है और स्वीकारता है। उसने मेरी हार के बाद टूटा स्वाभिमान भी देखा है और जीत की खुशी के आँशु भी। उसने कठोर आदमी के आंखों में शिकंज भी देखी है और सबको उपदेश वाले के दिल में शक भी। उसने जीत के बाद उसकी तन्हाई भी देखी है और हार के बाद सबका प्यार भी। उसने मुझे हर लिहाज से सबसे ज़्यादा जाना है उस पर सर टिकाये रात भर रोया भी हूँ और जब सब सही था तब उस पर सर टिकाये ठंडी राते बात करते करते बिताई भी है। हर लिहाज से मेरा तकिया मुझे सबसे ज़्यादा जनता है।